Bitter Sweet Win
by kaihil lover
Summary: Hiromi knew it, he had worked himself to achieve, the maximum height of his abilities too soon; the only possible way left to go now, was down. KaiHil One-shot


_**Bitter Sweet Win**_

The start of her friendship with the Bladebreakers was scary, the ending apparently seemed tragic, but it was everything in between that made it all seem worth it to Hiromi as she stood alone inside the empty stadium of the BBA.

She wasn't back at the dojo with everyone else celebrating the victory of _her _team. She was here looking for Kai.

Kai, who had left without saying goodbye, Kai whom, whenever she met after his quitting regarded her as if he had never know her at all, like a stranger meeting her for the first time, who didn't even think that he had done something wrong much less apologized.

Suspicions kill, doubts and uncertainties destroy; it's this faith which keeps us going and this belief and trust which keeps this breath moving and that is why Hiromi believed, and she would even though it seemed beyond the power of reason to believe.

Just because Kai had left it didn't mean he didn't care for her, that he had betrayed her, not everyone who leaves is a traitor just like not everyone who stays is trustworthy. Her mind went to Hiro with that thought; she had never trusted him and the conversation she had with him before Kai's battle had made it worse.

She could not help have a foreboding feeling of impending doom and apocalyptic chaos, she knew that it sounded pathetically paranoid, but what had happened today would not – could not bode well.

It was blatant that Kai couldn't have taken his loss well; the others might have ignored Kai's words while he was speaking too, interested in the battle but she hadn't and they echoed through her mind as she made her way across the stadium.

So what if Kai no longer considered her as a friend, that she was no longer worthy enough in his eyes to be his friend, he had cared once and that was enough, and even then, if he hadn't, she cared in the past and she still did and she would never let anything happen to him.

_I had no choice but to find a way to win, no matter what the cost to myself._This is what scared her when he left the team, and even more now that he had lost. She had to find him somehow.

She had gone up to the Blitzkrieg Boys to ask where Kai was. Bryan thought of her to be a fan girl, Spencer contradicted that she was Tyson's cheerleader, that had made her wince, and then finally Tala had said that she was Kai's old coach. He had an odd smirk on his face when he had said Kai's name.

Hilary asked him if he knew where Kai was and after much asking about why she wanted to know on Spencer and Bryan's part, Tala – noticing Hiromi's apprehension increasing by every second – had answered that they didn't know, but that would call at the dojo and tell, if they found out. With that the Russians had walked off.

Tala's last words had shocked Hiromi; he was willing to help her?

_This is my life's work._He had lost it all. Hiromi looked through the corridor that led to the cafeteria and started looking inside the place.

_When I realized I could never be like you, the only thing left for me was to defeat you._ She had never realized that Kai would be envious of Tyson; she knew he had wanted to beat him, but this made it sound as though he thought it was unworthy of him to be not like Tyson. He was Kai and that's all that mattered to her and she was sure that to the others as well. She had searched the entire cafeteria by now and had begun.

_I gave up everything from my old life._ She knew he regretted it, he had too big of a pride to admit it or apologize but she knew that he felt bad about what he had done. She believed that.

_Only then would I have complete faith in my own skill and strength. _She hadn't known Kai to underestimate himself so much.

_You can't do that to me! Are you telling me that this tournament has been nothing but a complete joke? That everything that we did doesn't count because you decide we get punished for working hard?_ Hiromi didn't want him to play against Tyson again, she knew it wouldn't end well, one of them would have to lose and whoever did would not take it well.

She hated herself for it, but she doubted Kai's chances of winning. Kai had worked a lot harder, but Tyson was just naturally talented, and it's not really possible to beat natural talent.

She had wanted to stop Kai, but she knew it'd be wrong Kai had to settle this on his own. She had felt so helpless watching. She had tried to go after Kai as soon as the battle ended but it would have been wrong if she wouldn't have rushed to congratulate Tyson and gone off to see if Kai was alright.

She was done with the entire stadium by now. What was she supposed to do now, look through the dozens of alleys in Bakuten at eleven at night? She'd already gotten three calls from the dojo.

Making her way out of the stadium she put her jacket back on. She shivered a bit and wrapped her arms around herself; the clouds had dissipated and it was rather cold despite it being summer. She made her way to the park; she remembered all the times she'd made the boys train there, even after Ray, Max and Kai left.

_That's why I had to leave the team. _She knew he must have had a reason. She did not, would not, resent him, he had his own life and his own priorities. But still that did not mean he could disappear after acting all suicidal and having major injuries_._ Oh when she found him, but that was the problem, when she found him, he wasn't at the park, Hiromi had no idea where to try next.

"Ugh," She groaned, pulling her hair in frustration taking one-eighty degree turn. She continued stomping her way out of the park. She was muttering random death threats for the person who made a sport out of beyblading.

_I hid myself away in extreme isolation forced to survive in the most hostile environment I could find. Sometimes things got so bad that I was ready to throw in the towel. _Why wouldn't his words leave her alone, she was petrified enough as is. If for training he went so over board, now that he'd lost, what was he going to do? She did not want to wake up tomorrow to a hospital trip.

_I gave up everything from my old life, and dedicated myself to training in mind and body to become the ultimate beyblading machine._ Kai really needed help. Not the Blitzkrieg Boys' indifference towards what happened to them in the abbey; not Tyson's belief that he just wanted to act like a hero; not the fans pitying on him. He needed help because of his compulsion of wanting to prove himself the best was unhealthy, and what was more unhealthy was that, being best was the only way he would get people to respect or like him, which was not true at all. He needed to stop pushing people away, before there was no one left to go after him.

Hiromi decided to take one quick, very quick passer by glance at the alley ways near the park. She paced quickly towards her destination; she kept glancing at deserted corners and pathways. Yelping internally and running whenever she'd see some scary druggie staring at her.

It was a little after midnight that Hiromi decided it was time to go back home. Now she'd have to take lectures from the Bladebreakers for being out so late; and curious questions from the other team members who had decided to stay at the dojo to celebrate the championships.

She felt down hearted as she made her way back. Grief felt so much like fear, and she was scared for Kai. She was scared for what would happen, if something happened to him. She couldn't wrap her mind around the concept of losing him, ever. She just wanted to go home and sleep on her futon, and hope she wouldn't have to get up to a funeral call. Her mind reminded her that she was a winner today, and that she should be happy for herself, but she remembered Kai's anguish and pain, the victory didn't taste sweet, at all.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice the pair of crimson eyes following her wearily and with trepidation, as she made her way towards the dojo, till the moment she disappeared from view. The eyes kept staring at the path she was on a while before turning back to the graffiti marred walls in front of them.

A sense of defeat clouded her mind as she tried let sleep overcome her. That was it, game over. Check mate. Competition won; over friendship, life, love, sanity, everything. As her thoughts blurred, and ceased making sense, and darkness clouded her vision, one last thing came to her mind, _Dranzer._ Kai was a phoenix; and as someone once said, even if all things burn to the ground, the phoenix will resurrect itself from those ashes, without suffering even a single scratch, possessing eternal life. Kai would be fine, she knew it in her heart. Her mind then went immediately blank and she fell into a state unconsciousness, a smile slowly beginning to grace her lips.

* * *

**AN: Yeh, first one shot of the summer. Kinda angsty. Though I hope everyone liked it. There might be a prequel to this, I wrote a bit of it in winter. Not sure though.**

**Disclaimer: I think everyone should know by now, that I own nothing, nothing but immeasurable love for KaiHil.**

**24th April, 2012. 02:08 a.m.**


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